Today is the 4th of July, also known as Independence Day here in the United States of America. The 4th of July has always been one of my favorite holidays, when fireworks go off it instantly reminds me of days spent going to downtown Lawrenceville with my two best friends. We would all pile in the back of Christy's moms Surburban and arrive hours before the festivities. Us girls would walk around, but when the fireworks began it was magical.
This is the last 4th of July I might ever spend living in the United States. I put this enormous amount of pressure on myself to really due it up right. Last week, I was so worried about what I was going to do because it is my last that I completely lost sight of the true meaning of the holiday. That people fought and died so that we could be free. That freedom includes my ability to move clear across the World to be with the love of my life.  
In case you were wondering, this is how I spent my Independence Day weekend:  
Saturday, I spent a long day in bed. Then I watched the food network all day long. Sometimes it feels fantastic just to enjoy the art of doing nothing.  
Sunday, again I woke up late, then The Lord of the Rings was on tv, and I am a girl who loves Middle Earth. I also went suitcase shopping with my mom, lets just say, I came, I saw, I dropped some cash, but more about that later. I then went with my mom to meet some friends at the fireworks in Old Town Norcross. They were pretty good but they didn't have my favorites. What I call spermies, because after the burst they go off in white little curly cues. Yes, I'm kinda gross. Oh and, I had a freaking awesome snow cone. Mango and lime!  
The 4th: I woke up freaking early and went with my mom to go see Larry Crowne. It was both adorable and inspiring. I left with 2 things, one, I want to go back to college, I never actually got my degree so maybe the University of Utrecht is in my future and two, I really want Loek and I to get a vespa! I then went and got the suitcase I had my eye on yesterday, because I was still fawning over it today. We had some family friends with their 4 year old come over. Oh, and I forgot, I made cupcakes! and of course I talked to Loek. All and all, it was a perfect weekend!
How did you spend your 4th?        

Have you heard about the Dutch and their bicycles? I can assure you that is one stereotype that is 100% true. Dutch people ride bikes, be they 80 years old, 3 on the back of their mother’s bikes or like 9 months pregnant. There is even a story about the Germans stealing Dutch Bicycles during WW2.
What is not to love right, Holland is the perfect place for a leisurely bike ride. The country is almost completely flat and there are these great bike lanes, separated from the cars (Imagine that America) that makes getting around on a bike super convenient. Unfortunately, this posses a problem for me. The last time I was on a bicycle I was 16, so about 9 years ago. I went Mountain Biking with my first real boyfriend because I wanted to be impressive. I wasn’t. Since then, I have been a little scared to get on a bike, I have an innate sense of protection of my body from anything that could cause physhical pain. Plus, riding a bike in most states, Georgia included is terrifying. I mean you have to ride in the road, with the cars! Needless to say, I am slightly embarrassed by this fact and am afraid that I will be laughed at when I try in the Netherlands. I am sure there will be lots of falling down and scraped elbows. Not to mention, even when I was little, using the brakes was never something I was able to do effectively. And, I know there is that expression when you do something that you haven’t done in a long time it is like riding a bicycle. Well, that is a bunch of crap. You aren’t just instantly able to get back into it.
However, I really do like the idea of riding a bicycle. I always really wanted to be in the scene in Wedding Crasher where Rachel McAdams character is riding her bike serenely. She seems so carefree sans helmet. I picture being able to do this and what my bike will look like. It will be a lady bike of course, with a basket for flowers in the front and a saddle bag on the back for groceries. I am not too picky about color, I just want it to be feminine. I would ride it everywhere-to the City Center of Utrecht, around Lisse along the flower fields.,up to the coast. My bike and I will be inseparable, especially since I will not have a car for the first time in 10 years. If only I could get over myself and learn to ride. Do you think if there were more places to ride your bike in the States you would?

I don’t want come across as one of those people who don’t realize how truly blessed they are, you know, the ones who complain about the opportunities given to them that most people will never get to experience. That being said, moving to a completely different continent is proving to be more challenging than I could ever imagine. By nature I am a worrier. Seriously, it is the only thing about me that drives the fiancee nuts, (well, that and my constant planning, which comes hand in hand with being a worrier). Right now,here is what has me stressed. I am sure I share some of them with anyone about to embark on a big relocation. 

 Money: Let’s face it, money is almost always going to be an issue. I am worried about being let go from my current position because of all the rumors running rampant about me. ( I am not actually moving to Asia this summer, last I checked, The Netherlands is in Europe and I am not moving before October). I have to pay off some things before I move, I have to figure out what to do with my car. The exchange rate sucks for Americans, so even though I am saving lots of dollars, that doesn’t equate to lots of Euros. With the visa I am getting, it will be a few months until I can legally work and find a job. We will be living off of Loek’s salary and on a serious budget. While I realize that millions of people do this everyday, I have been basically supporting myself ever since I was 16, so having to rely on someone else is going to be tough for me. Add to that, trying to plan a wedding in Europe with plenty of notice so that friends and family from the US can be there without an income, is going to be tough.

Loneliness:  I am abnormally close to my mom. We currently live together, so that I can save money to move, we also work at the same company so we carpool together. Thankfully, we don’t work on the same floor because that would just be too much. I have never lived more than 4 hours by car from my mom. I have been to Europe more times without her though so maybe that will help me out a little. In addition to my mom, I am also super close with my half-sister who I full love and several cousins. I have a large and close knit family, many of whom, as much as I love them, will probably never make the plane ride over to see me.(wimps). I also have some great friends. I still talk to people from 1st grade and I made the wedding cakes for both of my best friends of the last 14 years (thats right Christy and Hayley, over half our lives). While I don’t get to see my friends as often as I would like, practically no one lives by me, it is comforting to know that we are mostly all still in the same state. I am worried that I won’t know where to meet people in Holland and Loek has the same problem I do, where everyone moved away after college. He also lives in a different town than any of his co-workers so they don’t hang out much outside of work. In the words of Paul Rudd’s character in one of my favorite movies ever, “I got to get some fucking friends”.

Other adjustments: Here are some of the changes that I am worried about with moving to a place that speaks a completely different language, and just does things differently- the Dutch are so logical! I am worried that I will not be able to cook the recipes that I have in my vast variety of cookbooks. I worry that I wont ever learn Dutch. That I won’t be able to find a job, that Loek will get tired of no longer having disposable income. That I will be seen as a tacky American. That Loek and I wont be compatible at living together,( he has never lived with a girl before). That there will be a problem with my visa. That my cat wont be able to come. That my mom wont be as close as Loek’s mom is to our future children. That no one will come to our wedding. That I won’t be able to sleep with it being sunny until 11pm during the summer. That I will be depressed with the cold and dark that comes with Winter. I know a lot of this is irrational, but I have already told you that I am a worrier.
How do you overcome your fears? This peach is open to suggestions!